London.

It' been nice to be here. Just to relax a bit... come down off of all the busy-ness and forced focus and chaos and just be.
I feel so fortunate to have this short break in a familiar and easy-going place like the UK. The weather has been perfect- sunny and warm with a nice breeze. London is quite busy this time of year, and I find myself delighted yet challenged by the flow of this city. I love the UK... but it's so different than Turkey. I'm already aware of the ways that Turkish culture seeped into me and find myself doing funny little things here. For example- yesterday I rode the Underground into the city and without even thinking twice I littered (very turkish- they have people who clean up so everyone just litters- it's just a way of life) and then I stood up and gave my seat to a woman who was older than me (also very turkish- when someone elderly or someone with children gets on a bus you always give up your seat). The I noticed when someone asked me a question that I acted like I couldn't speak their language and used body language- haha! They spoke to me in english : ) I also couldn't bring myself to wear a tank top or shorts as I was always very conscious about what I wore in Turkey. I'm so used to living a certain way now that it's second nature, so strange : )
I arrived yesterday around 10:30 am after only sleeping a few hours and making a few connections, checking some baggage at the airport and checking in on my next fight out to America on Monday. As I took the tube into the city I felt such a mix of emotions. I was happy- to finally be in London, a place I love and to rest- but also really sad and alone feeling sort of. Even though I knew that I wasn't- I couldn't help but feel the loss of my community in Turkey. After that I took a short rest at the guest house and then ventured out to do some shopping to find a dress to wear to Romeo & Juliet tonight. Now, if you know me (which you all do as you're reading MY blog) you should know that I enjoy shopping sometimes but have a low tolerance for it and don't like malls or throngs of people. Haha- so shopping here in London was a big joke- on top of being wiped out sleep-wise. I was trying to navigate through this huge crowd looking for a specific shop when this lady whacked me in the knee with a heavy bag she was carrying. I stopped and thought wow- that really hurt and then just started laughing at myself for trying to do something I really didn't want to do. So then I forgot about the shopping and went to the park : )

Today has been wonderful. It's better than I can express to be on neutral ground- free from pressure or expectations for a day or two. I've been wandering and drinking coffee, having time to read and communicate again to you all. I hope you are all well, and send my love!

Final Days..and in Denial.

Well, if denial was ever a good state to be in... I think it would be now for me. I find myself having walked up to this day- my final day in Turkey for now, feeling in pretty much full blown denial. After living my life here for the past 9 months it has become so normal just to be here. This past week and even month has been full of thoughts of getting ready to leave, packing, weeding out, saying "see you laters" and just trying to processing my thoughts and feelings through this experience. This is the longest period of time I have ever lived overseas and I find it challenging at this point to make my body and mind understand that I will be in a different reality in just a few short days. Today, for instance, I did many normal things. I had lunch at the cultural center with some friends, I swam in the sea, I went grocery shopping, I packed, I cleaned. All these things are constant in my life here. I am also constantly leaving and returning so even packing and leaving feels normal. If it wasn't for that one tiny fact that this time I won't be returning, I won't be back from my little break to resume teaching, I won't have a normal schedule or be navigating the bus system here in Antalya anymore. I will actually understand most everyone when they speak to me now and I won't have to pump myself up before entering any stores or restaurants or pretty much anywhere I would have to have speak to people or respond to questions. hmmm- it's going to be a funny thing to leave here. But I have peace in my heart and have had a wonderful, full, and very blessed week of dinners and barbecues and goodbyes with my family and friends here. I feel loved and I feel as if I have given my all. I can see growth and change and advancement in the people that I've been working with. I can see these things in me too. God sure is good to me.

Below are some pictures of the sea, of Pamukkele (a beautiful hot springs), and the kids performing at the Shakespeare Festival that we put on for all the home-schoolers to perform and share some of their work. My students recited original poems and played the flute, and recited some bible verses that we've worked on. They did fantastic. I was very proud : )

Wow.

I know that is has been a while since I last wrote and for that I apologize... but I plan to catch you up to speed and fill this page with the happs in the past few weeks : ) There is a lot. My time here is quickly coming to a close and I can't believe it. In the beginning, once I first arrived and was trying to learn my job and how to live here and make friends time seemed to stretch on and on. But this end has come like lighting strikes... fast. I think that is a good sign. It shows that I have learned to live here, and that I like to live here. That I somehow, somewhere in there, life started flourishing around me and swept me up into it. I have come to really love it here. I feel as though I've just scraped the surface of what it means to be turkish- how the people here operate, communicate, and just live. I have been soooo occupied and busy with my purpose here of teaching and living and being an aid to the families that I am serving. I haven't had a lot of time to concentrate on devoting myself to learning language or making many turkish friendships... but some of that has come along now at the end.

Anyways, on to the happs. So, in the past few weeks I have finished school with 4 of my students, visited a beautiful area of Turkey called Kapadokya (one of the places of the early church where they hid out in caves and built underground cities and a part of star wars was also filmed there), the other family has moved out to another little village area up in the mountains (that I love!), and I have had to say goodbye to the Kaisers (the family that I have been living with in the city for the past few months) as they just left for some time back in America. This weekend is a festival called the May Fair at the Cultural Center/International Church that I ma involved with and I am excited to help out tomorrow. I will painting faces and helping with the rummage sale. There is also a baking contest with lots of yummy goodies and people from all over the city- internationals and turks alike pass through to participate in the Fair. This nest week I will be traveling up to a city on the Agean coast to meet the Albers and go see Ephesus with them! I can't believe that I will be able to visit this amazing place. In between all of this I have been trying to squeeze in my last days of teaching my other two students and saying some goodbyes to other friends that I have here- while still meeting new people. It's the nature of living and working here in an ever-changing community.

I have really enjoyed the different commute the past few days up to Duaci (pronounced Doo-ah-jah) which is the new village that 2 of my students moved to. It takes about the same amount of time to get to from where I live by the sea in the city but the bus route is completely different and has allowed me to see new parts of the city and outskirts. Duaci is beautiful- it is up in the mountains and is surrounded by forest- it actually smells like Bend/LaPine area in Oregon. It is a village area that is a mix of foreigners and turks, some permanent residences and others vacation homes. It feels much like a small town and is very pretty and more put together than Varsak the other village I work in. There are fruit trees blooming and flowers everywhere this time of year and I've noticed that the snails are out everywhere to- sort of funny. The tortoises keep them company though- or maybe they are just out to eat them, I'm not sure what tortoises eat?

Here are some pictures of the beauty that I saw in Kapadokya (Cappadocia).

Infinite tenderness.

"How precious are your thoughts O God, gaze on me with your infinite tenderness... I surrender to you."

These are the words to a song that I listened to about a week ago and somehow they have penetrated my being and stuck with me. They just keep rolling over and over again in my mind like a dryer tumbling clothes until they are dry. I love the way these simple words glorify our creator, invite him to pour out his love on us, speak to His nature, and speak to our state of need towards him. Somehow I find that wherever I go and whatever I do, these truths remain, as He also remains with me.

Some funny things that happened today:

1. I am pretty sure I observed a toddler around 1 or 2 in front of me on the bus with his mom drinking black tea out of a bottle.

2. I definitely had at least two articles of my clothing on backwards or inside out... shows you what kind of a day it was : )

3. I went to get some alterations done on some clothes that I got at pazar and the lady accidentally pinned on the dresses to my shirt ( I tried the dress on over my shirt) so when I went to take the dress off the shirt came with it... yes, I turned very red and was extremely glad that no other people were in the shop and it was fairly well obscured. Haha!

4. This one is not so much funny as it is ridiculous. I watched a woman allow her baby girl stand up on the moving bus and proceed to fight her way towards the back of the bus which was full of people and well... moving! It drives me nuts often the way that the Turks raise their children and the things that they let them get away with. But I suppose I can't judge anyone because I don't have any children yet.

The roses are out in full bloom now and they are gorgeous. The week was very full school-wise. I got my little first-grader almost finished with her language arts, started Aasia on number and letters in preschool, and am working with the mid-schoolers to finish their science curriculum. We've finished everything else. It's a miracle honestly. This weekend I will be going over to the Hudson's and helping to transform Hannah and Moriah's African locks into oodles of tiny braids... this is my first time braiding african hair and I hear that it takes forever! We'll see. I'm very excited for Sunday because my friend Erin and I are going with some people that she has been here working with to have a picnic at the ruins of Perge. They are really close, about a 45 minute drive, and are all that is left of the remains of this early church site. Paul actually taught there. I know that they are just dusty old ruins and broken down remains of life long past, but it will be fun to visit this place if only to be able to connect more of the knowledge that I know with one of the real locations it took place in.